How is everybody ? Its been a while since updating this blog, mainly because I just haven't had the energy to do it, but today is one of them days that I feel like i can put pen to paper ( fingers to keyboard ;) ).
So where have I been ? Not very far in terms of distance but leaps and bounds in terms of journey ! I had my first couple of appointments at the ME specialists James Cook University Hospital and I am now officially part of the group. To be honest these 'specialist' appointments are merely an education on this illness and support groups are put in place, GET, CBT and group therapy, I haven't actually been to any of these as there is hoops to jump through, waiting lists to endure and referrals to seek, good old NHS eh ?
I am managing to get out of the house a lot more and have managed minimal shopping trips, visits to appointments and no longer feel the need to stay in the car whilst my partner endures the grocery shopping ( most times )
I also went to my local ME/CFS meeting hosted by ME North East, it was nice to meet people with the same illness and it helped to discuss my symptoms which in turn helped me to almost accept this. Unfortunately, it was a very negative group as all the people there had suffered for such a long time and they where sick to death of hearing stories of hope etc. This knocked my confidence a little but my partner helped restore it when she said "the ones that have beaten this would obviously be a million miles away from this 'get together'"
What have I done ? I have tried a lot of things and I am still trying new things all the time, I have used multi-vitamins, fish oils, better diet, meditation, prayer, acceptance, counselling, sleep, mindfulness, napping, pacing, avoiding stress and others, of which I cannot remember, I can honestly say that nothing has helped I'm afraid. I am beginning to believe that this illness is only going to go away when its ready or when there is a cure found, but this is not stopping me from trying new things and looking for my/our cure ! In fact I am booked in for my first Reiki session tomorrow so I will be sure to let you know how that goes.
How do I feel ? This question is REALLY hard to answer, the first answer that comes to mind is depressed, but not the depressed where I need some tablets, its almost like I am really down today but I know that it will pass so I try to not let it get to unbearable. Yesterday I had a really good day, it almost felt like I was better and I even started to imagine getting back to my old life, but as this illness often does, I was kicked straight back down to Earth this morning.
My symptoms at the moment are mainly dizziness, blurry vision and low mood, I still have IBS and my legs always ache to differing levels. My sleep patterns are a little better and I don't lay in bed until dinner time any more.
Anyhow thanks for reading and I promise to get back to being a regular blogger, pinky promise !
Love Jon x